...and it is interesting to me you used that analogy. My first and last nervous breakdown, and likely the first real growth spurt of my spirit began with killing a wasp.
Something I had done a hundred times before without a care or second thought resulted in me dropping to my knees and crying like a baby. You know you are at the lowest of lows when you are crying uncontrollably and apologizing to an insect.
Now-a-days, I catch and release with the exception of wolf spiders and brown/black widows, but that is only to protect my child. My love for life is greatly over powered by my need to protect him. ...but I still apologize to the poor little critters. ;)
I only bring this up because of your desire to do more good. The small things are just as important as the big ones. IF there is another way, take it, even if it is something as insignificant as saving a wasp. Sure, the wasp may not know better, but deep down, you do whether you realize it or not.
I do gain some joy from catching and releasing wasps, bees, moths, spiders (not the ones mentioned), etc. Sure, it is only a moments worth, but, consider the alternitive of NO joy.
Sometimes the chase itself is spiritually rewarding. You will talk to the creature, you will try to reason with it, you may even identify with it. ...You never know, but, I promise, if you are as emotional as you lead on, it *is* little things like this that can make a huge difference in your life and you will never know how much little insignificant things can profoundly affect you until you address them.
You will find the path. Know it in your heart and BELIEVE IT, once you do, everything else will soon fall in line. |
