At one point he had a Displacer Beast Pack Lord as a Mount.
He'd ride it into battle, leap screaming over it's shoulderblades into the fray, and maul the Target before "kitty" could.
He finally lost it to a rather nasty Ranger whom had a thing against them.
(Favored Enemy, Nat20 on Primary ToHit roll, Nat20 on Confirm Crit roll, poof no more "Kitty".)
Torg promptly beat the Ranger to death with their own bow for "You hurt Kitty! BAD! BAD Man!"
For a while he kept a baby Basilisk as a pet in a "Messenger Bag" thing & would show it to people for a laugh.
"Wanna see funny pet?"
What's so funny about it?
"It make people die."
Wha- ACK!
"See? Like that."
*Cough*
Torg eventually killed it by accidently sitting on the bag & crushing the critter inside.
He got attacked by a Medusa once & ended up not only winning his Saves against her, but convincing her to date him.
They broke up when he tore off all her "funny hair".
*Sigh*
He found a Bullette once.
It came up near him, he crowed "PONY!" and pounced on it.
Grabbed it behind the head plate, rode it into a crazed fury, and leapt away just before it flung itself off a cliff.
He watched it plummet into the sea far below & pouted "No more pony ride."
He (literally) ran into a Gorgon once.
The rest of the party scattered in fear, but Torg "was too stupid to realize he should be scared s4less" (Nat20 on his Save).
So instead Torg headbutted the beast, felt the heat out of it's nostrils, stuck his hands up it's nose, and ended up beating it to death to get his fists out.
The DM swore that the next time Torg encountered anything designed to be a TPK and ended up "Killing it through stupidity", the DM would "have a random god smite your a3 for the principal of the thing!"
*Chortle*
As has been mentioned many times before, Torg is too stupid for words.
It's not my fault he ends up rolling either extremely high, or even Nat20's on his Saves versus crap designed to kill him.
So when your Bodack gives it's "Stare of Death" to Torg & he replies by laughing, licking the b7 across the face, shouting "SLIMEY!" and using it for underwear, do NOT blame me.
=-)p |
