As for the "microscope" badge thing? Clip it on the jacket. Hang the jacket on the back of the chair (unless you've a coat hook in your cubicle/office), go where you please.
A 'look-alike' kind of badge with the name/face and all the other stuff on it, but sans snooper-circuits, might be something to make on the side and sell to the other employees.....
Once they make all the doors "locked until badge-swipe," including the head, that ought to fix the snoopies.
"Why look, everyone is at their desks just beavering away!" while we're all really outside putting extra splinters on the rail, getting the boiling tar ready, and plucking some chickens.
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