Every time they make a lower counter-offer, SQUARE the price.
When they complain that "That's not how you haggle!" remind them that it wasn't for sale in the first place, and the more they annoy you, the more expensive it becomes in accordance.
"It's mine. It's not for sale. Every time you ask to buy it, I'll react to your rudeness, tactlessness, and stupidity by INCREASING the random number I've chosen to illustrate your lack of taking NO for an answer, and going *UP* from there."
Either that, or buy a Stun Gun & keep the batteries charged.
When they show up to make an offer, smile politely, say "It's not for sale", and then smack them in the head with the SG.
Close the door, pushing the body out of the way *(back outside, if needed) and go about your day.
Don't forget to put it back on the charger when you're done!
=-D
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