If you were to smack a woman with a riding crop in normal circumstances, it would be considered injurious, right?
But when done...say, in the dungeon, when she's blindfolded and already aroused...the endorphins produced by the pain cause the pleasure response in the brain to skyrocket...leading to a rather happy sexual experience. Voila! Felicity.
The answer to your question, then, is "context".
Coming home to find your girlfriend naked in bed with another person? Bad. Discovering that the other person is her hawt best friend, and they want to have a threesome with you? Good. See? CONTEXT.
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