Make sure you spend time with your parents. Make sure they know you love them and appreciate everything they have done for you - you never know how much time you have left with them.
Now that I am home, I no longer have tasks to distract me from thinking about my dad. My brain tells me that chances are pretty good that he will weather the fluid draining with little problem - it will likely be done as an outpatient procedure. The rest of me is really scared s4less. It's not like I have never lost anyone close to me - my Great Aunt died when I was 17. My Great Uncle passed in 2003 - I was taking care of him at the time (he was mostly self sufficient, I just made sure his pill box was filled properly, and helped him get to things like Dr. appointments, the store, etc.). I was worried about my mom in about 94 when I learned she had breast cancer - she was in Albuquerque at the time, not exactly a quick trip to get there if necessary (planes would have been involved). I think it's different this time because it is a parent. After mom & dad divorced (I was 12/13), I wasn't overly close to him for many years - even after I got married. We became closer, we talked on the phone periodically, got together at Christmas (he lives about an hour away), kept up with what was going on in each others lives for the most part. I am scared, worried, and nervous about what the rest of the week will bring. From talking with my sister, it sounds like he is ready to throw in the towel. He is in his early 60's - he can't die. He just simply can't.
I think I am going to go to bed soon - don't know if I will sleep or not, but I am going to at least try. Sorry for rambling on and getting emo here. I just needed to unload a bit. |
