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If the cow really did jump over the moon by Freakazoid2009-03-31 06:08:58
  Ahem. by werehatrack 2009-03-31 06:41:08
As previously revealed, the bovine launch occurred before space was a vacuum, and thus velocity was limited. The best reconstructions conclude that cow had most likely angered a group of visiting African swallows which then goaded it into successively higher leaps before they grabbed it en masse (it is possible that large numbers of them may have employed bits of creeper as slings) and flung it into its translunar trajectory. Methane emissions due to fright over its predicament doubtless contributed additional thrust for the early part of the journey. Sadly, since its velocity was likely no greater than what the birds could achieve, the transit must have taken so long that by the time it returned to earth, it was little more than the dried husk of an emaciated corpse. The impact site has never been located, though the historic dodginess of the leather products of one of the tanners in Chiswick of a number of centuries past has long been suspected as having its origins in the attempt to jump-start the operation through the use of scavenged hides of questionable origin, possibly including the lunar cow. Sadly, urbanization of the vicinity has doubtless long since consumed all hard evidence of the details, and no one there today is likely to admit that any tanners had ever operated in the area.
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