Well I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I got my plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car.
Through all trials and tribulations,
And my travels through the nations,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.
Oh Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car.
I'm afraid he'll have to go,
His magnets ruin my radio,
And if I have a wreck, he'll leave a scar.
Riding down a thoroughfare,
With his nose up in the air,
A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind.
Trouble coming, he don't see,
Just keeps his eyes on me,
And any other thing that lies behind.
Oh, Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car.
Though the sun shines on his back,
Makes him peel, chip and crack,
A little patching keeps him up to par.
When pedestrians try to cross,
I let them know who's boss,
Never blow the horn or give them warning.
I ride all over town,
Trying to run them down,
It's seldom that they live to see the morning.
Oh, Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car.
His halo fits just right,
And I use it for a sight,
They'll scatter or they'll splatter, near and far.
If I weave around at night,
And the police think I'm tight,
They'll never find my bottle though they ask. (yes they ask)
Plastic Jesus shelters me,
For his head comes off you see,
He's hollow and I use him for a flask.
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car. (of my car)
Ride with me and have a dram,
Of the blood of the lamb,
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar.
Oh, Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car.
Once his robe was snowy white
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke from my cigar.
Oh, Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus,
Riding on the dashboard of my car.
I'm afraid he'll have to go,
his magnets ruin my radio,
And if I have a wreck, he'll leave a scar.
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