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| SOTOTT: The Man Who Couldn't Cry |
by ag__wyvern |
2008-08-26 00:29:10 |
Song Of The On Topic Tangent
"Four dudes on boney horses" put me in mind of Johnny Cash singing "The Man Comes Around" (lyrics end with " And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts, And I looked and behold: a pale horse. And his name, that sat on him, was Death. And Hell followed with him.").
So... turned on the media player, randomized Johnny (and others... but there's a lot of Johnny), and "The Man Who Couldn't Cry" came on. So... here you go:
THE MAN WHO COULDN’T CRY
There once was a man who couldn't cry
He hadn't cried for years and for years
Napalm babies and the movie love story
For instance could not produce tears
As a child he had cried as all children will
Then at some point his tear ducts ran dry
Grew to be a man, the shit hit the fan
Things got bad, but he couldn't cry
His dog was run over, his wife up and left him
After that he got sacked from his job
Lost his arm in the war, was laughed at by a whore
But still not a sniffle or sob
His novel was refused, his movie was panned
And his big Broadway show was a flop
He got sent off to jail; you guessed it: no bail
But still not a dribble or drop
In jail he was beaten, bullied and buggered
And made to make license plates
Water and bread was all he was fed
But not once did a tear stain his face
Doctors were called in, scientists, too
Theologians were last and practically least
They all agreed sure enough; this was no cream puff
But in fact an insensitive beast
He was taken from jail and placed in a place
For the insensitive and the insane
He played a lot of chess and made lots of friends
And he cried every time it would rain
Once it rained forty days and forty nights
And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried
On the forty-first day, he passed away
He just dehydrated and died
He went up to heaven, located his dog
After that, he rejoined his arm
Down below all the critics took it all back
Cancer robbed the whore of her charm
His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke
The theologians were finally found out
Right down to the ground, the jail house burned down
And the earth suffered perpetual drought
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