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Tonight's RPG session was friday-tastic! by FNORDer 2008-08-22 09:47:51
In our Gaming group we have a trio of 15-17 year old boys. I'm sure you know what they're like when they get their hands on source material.

Well one of them is the stereotypical class clown when it comes to playing characters, and I think with his latest incarnation we've finally managed to find an outlet for the stupids.

I'm going to tell you the full story because leaving out details wouldn't do this justice.

Myself, the Dwarven Wizard with a liking for force spells, versus the CN Druid (Class clown) and all egged-on by the elf barbarian who just happens to be a devout follower of Olidammara...

While waiting for a courier we're helping out at an inn trying to nail down a theif whose been stealing from the stores. Well, within 15 minutes of happy hour the druid (who is by his own admission a walking pile of filth with an affinity for garbage) has annoyed 80% of the clientelle within the inn and gets himself thrown out onto the street. He promptly upsets a passing band of sailors and gets chased halfway across town.

Early in the morning, the same group of sailors run into him again (thankyou DM intervention) whilst he is carving obscenities into the door of the inn. they beat him senseless and the barbarian drags him into an alley behind the inn to cool off.

He wakes up, leaps through a window into the kitchen and procedes to leave filth all over the kitchen, waters down the tapped kegs with a create water spell and makes himself a costume from all the vegtables. The inn keeper comes downstairs and sees all this, and he is then forced to pay damages (consisting of his spells for the next three days being sold by the inn keeper) and clean up the mess.

This is where he ran afoul of my character...

His character comes to my character and asks for my help in fixing the door. But, being true neutral in the sense that he's out for number one and only, he refuses.
the Druid then threatens my wizard.
The wizard still refuses.
The druid then sneaks up into the wizard's room and covers the bed in all manner of filth.

The wizard, not one to be perterbed by filth quickly removes the dirt with a minor spell. But, plots his revenge, a plan to deal with the Druid already forming...

That night when the Inn is again in full swing. Somehow the Druid has gotten where he is least wanted: around other persons.
While erstwhile engaged with the same pack of sailors who beat him senseless the previous night (actually trying to apologise, and... failing his charisma roll) he catches a whiff of the scent of soap descending from on high. From over his shoulder he sees the ghostly outline of a hand clutching a wet bar of soap.

The Druid dives under the table, but the sailors drag him out moving him towards the soap and from the kitchen the wizard calls: "Show me his backside!" and the sailors are only too happy to abolige, stripping down what little rags he wears, and the mage hand deposits the bar of lye soap between each cheek. He is then bound hands and feet with his pants around his ankles, left to the right of the inn's stage as a sideshow to the evening's entertainment.

Sidenote: patrons were only too happy to pay to witness the spectacle netting the wizard the equivalent of 6 Silver pieces.

But is it over? No it's not over.
Towards the end of the evening it is decided to give the druid mercy and remove the soap. How? by folding his knees up to his chest and dumping him rear-end first into a barrel of water. Our druid friend is afraid of water you see, the only mercy is the lye soap eventually dissolved and as he crawls off into the night like a hermit crab howling and cursing, one thing is certain:

DO NOT annoy the wizard.

and that was just one sequence of events. The total number of stupidities indulged in by this clearly damaged character was beyond number in just one 3-hour session.
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