| (if that is your real name):
I perceive today's comic strip as an attempt to implicate me in some sort of offense, though by what manner and in what particular offense, I am not yet certain. Rest assured, however, that my attorneys will soon contact you regarding this instance of libel.
I certainly hope your willingness to cooperate with their requests for a printed retraction and a printed, formal apology will be as abundant as Stef's supply of butter and inversely proportional to his opportunities to use it in his preferred fashion.
Satirically yours,
John Doe | 
