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*why* does it *still* hurt?why am I still in pain? by Garrinka2007-10-22 19:27:11
  I'm not the one to ask hon. by XndeX 2007-10-22 21:12:47
Lately I have lost both my brother and my Dad.
I Feel depressed and all don't get me wrong.
I have not really shown much emotion either way.

I was always dealing with death when I was growing up.
My step dad died when I was 10.
My grandmother died when I was 11 or 12. not real sure.
One of my mom's boyfriends died when I was 14 or so.
Another one of my mom's boyfriends died when I was 16 or so.
Then my mothers first husband died when I was 18 or 19.
My grand dad died when I was 23-24.

So I have been in deaths arms so to speak.

I did care about these people and have genuine feelings for them.
Why I don't feel more sorrow or anguish I do not know.

I am unhappy that they are no longer a part of my life.
The one that effected me the most was my brother last year.

Maybe I'm just a quick healer?
I don't have an answer.
I do feel bad for your loss though.
No one should have to loose someone they love.

But you can not have life without death and I have accepted that.

It does not make me stronger.
It does not make me weaker.
It just makes me who I am.

Part of who you are is feeling anger and sorrow at the loss of your Dad.

{{{{{Garrinka}}}}}
[ Reply ]
    ahh hon I thought I had it rough :( by Garrinka2007-10-22 21:27:19
      Thats just it. by XndeX2007-10-22 21:42:11
        true dat :) by Garrinka2007-10-22 21:46:14

 

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