I suspect I'm not the only one, but I am really flipping tired of receiving those stupid credit card cheques from my CC companies. I can't just trash them, I have to put them through the shredder, because I'm really not keen on having to deal with the fallout of some scam artist making off with several grand worth of bling charged to my card.

So today I receive one of these "offers" from the Royal Bank of Canada. I call them up, and after six or seven layers of voice menus, I get a human. The following partly paraphrased, but much of it is accurate from memory (I called at 3:42pm UF Time).

"Hello. I'd like you to stop sending me those credit card cheques."
"I beg your pardon? You don't want the cheques?"
"No. They clog up my paper shredder."
"But sir, those cheques offer you a loan at a very favourable rate."
"I don't need a loan. I don't want your cheques."
"But sir, those cheques are sent only to our best customers."
"Very nice, but I don't want them."
"May I ask why?"
"Because I'm not going to use them and they're a waste of paper."
"You know you can use them to buy yourself a very nice vacation?"
"Please explain to me why I'd want to get into debt with you for
  the sake of going to a sandy beach somewhere."
"It's a very favourable rate, sir."
"For you. I have to pay you money to use your money."
"Please hold sir."
**Promotional messages about Royal Bank's Awesome New Money**
"Thank you for holding sir."
"Right, so please take my name off your list."
"I apologize sir, but we do need to send you monthly statements."
"Can you just take me off your 'annoying cheques' list?"
"Um...no sir, the system doesn't let me do that."