| I've only been turned down for a date once, and that was because she had lied to me about other things which she knew would come out if we got that close. I almost always get a number if I ask for it. Clearly I am completely charmless, or totally disgusting and in all ways repulsive.
Now the bad news. While getting dates hasn't proven an unsurmountable obstacle, getting the girl to show up has been more difficult. When I was 18, my brother in law tried to set me up with a girl he knew. We talked online and on the phone, and evetually agreed that I would pick her up at a given time from her dorm. As I was getting ready to leave, I called to tell her I was on my way. She told me she decided to go to a comedy club with some friends instead, and I shouldn't bother coming down. At about 2am that night she called me to say that she didn't have as much fun as she cthought she wouls have, and she should have gone out with me instead. Being the young, naive sap that I was I agreed to arrange another time to meet. She stood me up twice more that week.
This has become disturbingly common. One girl actually tried to pretend she was dead to avoid meeting me. The most common excuse has become by far some variation of "You are such a nice guy. I like you a lot. Really. But I think maybe I like you too much. I'm afraid to hurt you. Sorry, but I don't think I can be there. It's not you it's me..."
In an attempt to get over this, I tried to meet new people maybe find someone to help get my mind of things. I met a girl, she is actually supposed to be in NYC today and tomorrow. I am in NY for the summer, working in the city. I was going to take half the day off, meet her for lunch and spend the rest of the day together. In the last 5 days we both talked excitedly about meeting, and she actually went as far as to make a comment essentially declaring that her reaction when we met, be it a hug, kiss, or shameless making out on a street corner in midtown Manhattan, she took no responsibility for her actions. Needless to say, I have been looking forward to this.
Last night I called her to work out the final details of where and when, and she told me she wasn't coming. She said she was scared of becoming to attached, of hurting me, and that she really really liked me but would understand if I didn't want to talk to her anymore. Then she started crying. Now she won't answer her phone.
This post is not meant to gripe or whine or vent. I am actually asking a question. What am I doing wrong? (These are just the relationships that never happen: the ones that do I wish didn't, but that's another problem) I have pushed a couple times until I got some answers, and these girls claim I don't come off as creepy or pushy, I'm not rude or obnoxious or condecending, in fact, I can't get any of them to say a single bad thing about me. I know I have flaws, and some of them are potentially serious, but the way they tell it I'm every girl's dream guy. Except they all stay away.
As a side note, don't people realize how much it hurts when you tell someone you don't want to hurt them as an excuse to stop seeing them?
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