"Tonight we're going to show you eight silent ways to kill a man."
[. . .]
After the tape a girl in the front row raised her hand. The sergeant nodded at her and she rose to parade rest. . . . "Sir [. . .] most of those methods, really, they looked . . . kind of silly."
"For instance?"
"Like killing a man with a blow to the kidneys, from an entrenching tool. I mean, when would you actually have only an entrenching tool, and no gun or knife? And why not just bash him over the head with it?"
"He might have a helmet on," he said reasonably.

Why does my reading voice have an English accent when I'm reading this, and why am I thinking, "Suppose someone attacks you with a banana!"