Once upon a midnight dreary,
while I pondered weak and weary,
suddenly there came a tapping, as of someone gently rapping.
Long ago I'd heard that sound;
often lost, but seldom found.
A haunting voice from minutes past;
Micah had returned at last! [1]
And I was like, "What's up dude?"
And he was like, "Uhhh... I found your comb." [2]
And I was like, "Shut Up!" [3]
And he was like, "Yeah, and stuff."
And then I was like, "Rock on!"
And that's how the story ends.
Now you'll hear the score, my friends.
We're finding answers, we're setting trends;
I guess that's how the story ends.
How distinctly I remember,
it was in the bleak December,
and each dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
I heard a voice that chilled my spine,
and saw what I could not define;
a sight I never could contrive:
There stood Brad, at last, alive! [4]
"Where have you been, these endless years?"
I asked him, sobbing, through my tears.
"I did not die, by plague or prison.
What really died is cynicism!"
And I said, "Awesome!"
And he was like, "Yeah, I guess.
And by the way, those pants, they belonged to my dad. [5]
And they're not really pants;
they're lederhosen." Hooray!
And that's how the story ends.
Now you'll hear the score, my friends.
We're finding answers, we're setting trends;
I guess that's how the story ends.
And Combat Chuck has passed away; [6]
his dying wish was "Never play that song again".
Kitty-Doggy's put to sleep, [7]
the dinosaurs lay in a heap, [8]
as they slowly go extinct, like me.
<more repeats of the chorus>
Footnotes -- all of these are references to previous FIF albums:
[1] From "Where is Micah?" (on _Our_Newest_Album_Ever!_ -- a song about how the drummer never shows up on time)
[2] From "Blue Comb '78" (on _Upbeats_and_Beatdowns_ -- a song about how the lead singer's sister threw his comb out the window of the family car in 1978)
[3] Reference to "Shut up!" (on _Upbeats_and_Beatdowns_ -- a three-second track whose lyrics are, in full, "Shut Up!")
[4] From "The Untimely Death of Brad" (on _Quantity_is_Job_1_ -- a song about Internet rumors; specifically, one that started by claiming Brad, the trumpeter, was dead)
[5] From the "These Are Not My Pants" rock opera (on _Quantity_is_Job_1_ -- about 9 tracks' worth of people singing about pants -- not being theirs, being too small, etc. -- in several different formats)
[6] From "Combat Chuck" (on _Upbeats_and_Beatdowns_ -- a song about some guy who goes by Combat Chuck at large shows)
[7] From "Kitty Doggy" (on _Upbeats_and_Beatdowns_ -- another fairly short song about some random pet)
[8] From "Kingdom of the Dinosaurs" (on _Quantity_is_Job_1_ -- another bonus track with quite a bit of randomness) |
