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Attn: Klaranth	by inkey	2007-04-20 01:25:48
Threadjacking to ask Klaranth..	by EnzoMatrix	2007-04-20 06:22:28
Ok, some adjustments :	by klaranth	2007-04-20 10:50:59
Check your tenses. You are using past and present tense simultaneously. "Today is not a bad day' Quinn thought, as he climbs the hill. " Stick to the future, if you have to. Some anachronisms are throwing me off of the story. Using phrases like : "Looks like" and abbreviations like "PK-er". Rephrase those, and explain things differently. Other than that, please write on. Got me curious. :)
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