Mostly in relationships we have give and take. A mutually beneficial exchange of intangibles. A smile that says "You're OK" is very valuable. Do you know anyone that you like enough that you want to give them such a valuable thing? Or, something just as good, maybe even better: A comment about their hair. Or clothes. Something that says "I notice you made an effort today". Of course, this requires that you actually notice when people make an effort:-)
Nobody is able to simply take what they want. They are giving something - most likely an intangible, such as a sense of security, or belonging, or a purpose, or appreciation, or...
Intangibles are many and varied. And, believe it or not, we need them. We appreciate them. We want them. And are willing to repay them.
It sounds like you are looking for an intangible. You want recognition, appreciation, respect, ... I'm not sure what, but I'm sure you would recognize it.
Try to look for those intangibles in other people's interactions. They are there, I assure you. If you could recognize them, you might be able to use them. This is not 'brown-nosing'. It is an honest exchange of intangibles. If you want to receive, you must also give. Just beware of people who are giving what you don't need or want. They will look like they are all take and no give, and you most certainly don't need that. |
