and finding myself on the business end of too many embarassing situations, which only throw more layers of dirt on the casket my self-esteem found itself in long ago. I see movies and shows with socially awkward characters in embarassing situations and I either avert my eyes, cover my ears or change the channel if possible. I don't mind playing them onstage, because then it's not me and I can supply comedic insight into the role.
Afraid of someone being interested in me? Abso-f4'in'-lutely. I have a hard enough time keeping what little image I have up as a socially-acceptable, stable and somewhat mature human being. I don't need more stress. I do my thing, then I go away, leaving others to socialize and do the unnecessary niceties while I go on to the next project, keeping my head down and staying out of trouble.
And I hate myself for doing that, but it's all I know, in re: not facing more embarassment and keeping up my reputation as a competent and nice guy. |
