Long time no see, UFies. I have finally completed my rather long, chaotic, traumatic and heart-breaking move from Singapore to Australia. And unfortunately, been neglecting the boards for months (as I have been prone to do before anyway).
I've recently entered loserhood, a personal mental state where I've regressed rather than progressed in life. I used to have a job, my own place, my own friends and dreams for the future. Now, I have no job, stay with my parents, have no friends around me and absolutely no f4ing idea what to do with my life.
Moving to Australia was supposed to be a good thing, but as the days go on, it seems to have been a worse and worse idea. I think what made it worse was that for the past 3 weeks, I was back in Singapore while waiting for the Australian High Comm to process my migration visa. During that time, I had a whirlwind of a time visiting all my old haunts, going out with my friends, and finally settling my on/off ex/not-ex relationship (we've broken up but are still good friends). To top it off, I've gotten a huge crush on a guy from church in Singapore (which the girls, including his best friend, claim is mutual), but I don't dare tell him. I want to, but the thought of a long-distance is hard. And he'll be serving his mandatory 2 year national service too. But parting from him was particularly hard, and I'm regretting every moment of it right now.
I've had to say goodbye to all my friends, this time not for 2 months but for a minimum of at least 2 years. It hurts a lot more this time around, especially since through it all, I feel like I can trust my friends more than my family (sad as that may be). I mean, I saw my friends every few days. Whereas I hadn't seen my family (except for a short holiday) for nearly 4 years.
I especially miss the convenience of Singapore... I could hit 2 libraries and a bookshop in an hour there, followed by a 10 minute walk to a cinema and then meet my friend on the other side of the country in 45 minutes by bus. Now, it's like an hour's drive to the nearest decent cinema and another hour for the bookshop. I miss the 24 hour food courts, 24 hour delivery services, shops closing at a decent time (like 10pm, for example; everything's dead here by 5pm). I don't know if I can adjust.
I'm also getting a bit of racism, and it's quite disconcerting at times. It's nothing extreme, luckily, but it's sometimes quite blatant. Also, staying with my parents is starting to wear me down. They're constantly shouting and arguing, and my mother is constantly undermining my choice of studies (3D animation) and wants me to take a more "respectable" study in IT or programming. Her not-so-subtle hints are driving me wild. As much as I love her, I'm becoming increasingly resentful.
I wish I had more good news about the move, but I'm honestly thinking that this was a horrible (and freakishly expensive) mistake, probably the worst mistake I've made in my life (and I've made way too many). |
