Tie the kid up in a full-body cocoon of nice, itchy hemp rope and tuck the brat in on the bottom shelf of the cart -- lower CG, more stable, well-secured, and, with a tennis-ball gag, a pleasently quiet shopping trip spent unconcerned about what little monkey mitts are getting themselves into. Heck, with a creative memory lapse tossed in, one can get weeks of relief from the stresses of parenthood...
Note: this post is satire. Any reader unable to discern that fact probably fell out of a grocery cart when young. |
