| Dear [name] the Second,
I appreciate your writing in, but I fear I must utterly demolish your position with a simple statement: I am Canadian.
Canadians are polite, considerate, make beer much better than you do, and celebrate beavers. As a Canadian, I feel it important that I remain true to the stereotype. Therefore, I offer you the following sentiment:
Please remove your narcissistic head out of your nethers and be on your way before I feel forced to politely travel down to D.C. and considerately burn your White House down. Again.
Most Americans would find that comment amusing. If you are not one of these, please take it incredibly seriously. That would make my day. Meanwhile, I'm gonna go have a beer, eh.
With Maple Syrup Love,
J.D. "Illiad" Frazer, President of Canadia. | 
