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From the INBOX | by ChuckAB | 2006-04-12 17:45:17 |
| PONDERISMS |
by ChuckAB |
2006-04-12 17:54:54 |
- I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
- Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
- The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
- Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
- There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
- Life is sexually transmitted.
- Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
- Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
- Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
- Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
- Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
- Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
- Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
- Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
- If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
- If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
- Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
- Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
- Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
- Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?
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[ Reply ] |
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Whoa!! | by Llyr | 2006-04-12 18:25:37 |
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Rebuttals and observations | by kahuana | 2006-04-12 18:41:37 |
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actually, some freezers do have lightbulbs (n/t) | by Freakazoid | 2006-04-12 18:48:43 |
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Yes, several chest freezers do. | by kahuana | 2006-04-12 18:52:28 |
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"regular" freezers do even | by Freakazoid | 2006-04-12 19:01:51 |
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My freezer totally has lightbulbs. (n/t) | by Llyr | 2006-04-12 21:21:20 |
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RE: #19, mine does. | by Glytch78 | 2006-04-12 19:50:52 |
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