Most of you are familiar with my marital situation. Nothing has changed; he still denies everything and acts like I’m a fool to even believe such a thing of him. Until I have unshakable photographic proof, he will continue to act as if he’s mister perfect.
Other than being a lying, manipulating, cheating b7, he is acting like a very tolerable husband and a fantastic father. We are paying down the bill quite nicely and possibly will be on top of everything by mid march if not sooner.
My only hope at this point is, in the light of my last "get-out-of-my-life-I-hate-you" episode, to which he did not comply, he is acting like everything is normal so that I don't freak out again, find a way to kick him out or leave and end up in financial hardship by doing so. And that when every bill is up to date and he feels I can be financially independent, he will leave of his own free will.
I mean how can I possibly believe, for even a second that he is not involved with that b5? She uses his last name on ebay and he refuses completely and categorically to make her change it, "you don't use it so why can't she? It's not like she's trying to change it legally, she doesn't use it at work or on her bills or at the bank, so there's no harm'.
This brings me to why I feel so depressed today:
I have complained about it often enough he KNOWS I know she uses his last name as her own on ebay, he even gave me her password ( his first name ) so I could take a look at the watch list for things he put there by mistake instead of our own. He orders stuff for us through her account by mistake then pays for them with our paypall, I get the notification, I SEE her name and address. Yet the last packages that have come to her address for us and he brought back yesterday, the address labels have been removed, the boxes otherwise untouched. What in the heck does he think he's playing at? Why hide from me an address he knows I know? Then again knowing him he probably doesn't even realize the paypal displays the shipping address or that I can look up he shipping address when I log into her ebay account and he might think I am blissfully unaware that she is STILL using his name and found it necessary to hide it from me, if I confront him I KNOW he will come up with a ironclad excuse against which there will be no argument strong enough to stand.
I have NOT been in denial these past few months only I made the decision to put it in the back of my mind until such time as it becomes impossible for him to deny it any longer and the final conclusion can only be him leaving, I don't want to go through what happened the last time I "tried" to put my foot down and he REFUSED to leave. This marriage will only be over if he finally admits what he's doing, until then I'm stuck pretending I believe him. If I do leave now I will be forever know as the crazy b5 who thinks crazy things about her poor faithful husband and took her kids away from there loving and misunderstood father. I can't live with that, I'd rather shut up and put up with the status-quo .
Thank you for letting me vent, sorry it was so long.
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