I'm torturing myself like this?
I keep going over "the emails" and the more I read the more it hurts and it just makes me read some more.
I know I'm nuts for not kicking him out right now but it would also be nuts to do so as well, I cant afford the bills. I know I posted yesterday what I decided to do, but I'm getting more and more confused.
I really dont understand why he refuses to admit it, saying lie after lie, finding smarter ways everyday to justify what I confront him with. I just dont understand why, he clearly dosen't love me anymore. WHY DOSE HE WANT TO STAY SO BAD he has to lie? I have nothing, no assets, I am not rich NOTHING
At first thats why I wanted to beleive so much he wasent screwing around, because he wasent leaving, because if he was so unhappy with me he had to go to someone else, he certanly woudn't go to so much trouble lying and making up stories to explain the evidence.
Now the evidence is undeniable, but still he denies, still he comes up with brilliant explanations I HAVE NOTHING HE CAN TAKE AWAY why does he stay?
The kids? He has allways said in the past, when hes upset with me and saying hes leaving me that the sad thing will be the kids growing up without him
I know how he thinks, his philosophy is that men cannot rase children, only women can do that, marrige ends, kids stay with mom, simple as that so no I know hes not after the kids
I'm just so confused I cant stand it |
