Welcome to what I hope will make one or two smile and better yet spread some happyness and laughter across the UFiverse.
Enjoy :-)
Long ago there sailed an officer of the Royal Navy named Capt. Bravado. He was a brave man, who showed no
fear when doing battle with his enemies. One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, his lookout spotted a
pirate ship approaching, and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravado bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"
The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, and while wearing the brightly colored frock,
the Captain led his crew into battle and defeated the pirates. That evening, all the men sat around on
the deck recounting the day's triumph, when one of them asked the Captain, "Sir, why did you call for
your red shirt before battle?" The captain replied, "If I were to be wounded in the attack, the shirt
would not show my blood. Thus, you men would continue to fight, unafraid." All the men sat and marveled
at the courage of such a manly man's man. When dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one,
not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The crew stared in worshipful silence at the captain and
waited for his usual orders. Captain Bravado gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against
his ship, and showing no fear, turned and shouted, "Bring me my brown pants!"
Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny. "She's incredibly dumb.
he does everything absolutely backwards.", said one doctor. "Just last week, I told her to give a patient
2 milligrams of Percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!"
The second doctor said, "That's nothing. Earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every
24 hours. She tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour! The guy nearly exploded!" Suddenly, they hear a
blood-curdling scream from down the hall, "Oh my gosh!" said the first doctor, "I just realised I told
Nurse Jenny to prick Mr. Smith's boil!"
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