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If someone states something that is on or over the | by Danu | 2005-08-04 22:46:37 |
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Dont worry too much, | by astro-g | 2005-08-04 22:48:58 |
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Boxes. I can relate to boxes. | by ChuckAB | 2005-08-05 07:05:48 |
| I woke up in the box. |
by Danu |
2005-08-05 11:33:20 |
The SO had become a bad person, he no longer could differentiate between right and wrong. Eldest child was getting caught up in the chaos, escaping by drug abuse. She was addicted to some serious hard chemicals, became a toy for Hells Angels and was on a one-way trip to destruction.
For the SO, CDN DND very reluctant to recognize mental instability, appeals for help for were waved away with hand. It wasn't until SO threw high-ranking officer over cubicle wall, and very convincingly threatened said officer's life, was any assistance put into place.
For the daughter, the provincial social service system thought the system worked but she kept slipping through the cracks and as parents we are not granted the powers to do anything about it. "The child must want drug treatment, the child must want suicide counseling". I was told the most constructive thing I could do was have her arrested for drug pushing, which would them get her into the jail system where treatment could be forced. Putting her into that system was not an option, too many negative variables.
My family was falling apart and the only way I could help was to avoid distractions. So I stayed in the place I woke up and took control back. I focused my energy on my immediate family. I didn't warn my two sons it was still going to bumpy for a long time and I didn't tell them I needed them to stay strong, they just knew and they stuck through it all.
The SO retired from the military, we packed up and moved across the country. The daughter, thankfully (there must be angels), followed a few months later. She arrived addicted to drugs and pregnant. I sent her to live with my sister a few miles away (to whom I am ever grateful), because daughter and husband inside same residence was bad magic. When daughter found out she was pregnant, she went cold turkey off drugs and alcohol. With help of my sister, we got her through it. Daughter has strong spirit! Three months before baby due, daughter moved in with us. She now has a very bright, healthy 3 year old little boy who suffered no consequences of his mother addictions. The two of them live in apartment walking distance from us. For the past two years she has been financially self-supporting. It fills my heart with such joy just to look at them both. She is a survivor. He is a miracle.
My SO got connected with some very good psychologists. For five years now, he has been on weekly or bi-weekly sessions. A few times a year I join in on these sessions. He also takes medications which play an equal role. Occasionally, he'll come off is meds (secretly), resulting in a relapse. We just deal with it as it comes.
The boys had to give up a few things due to the move etc. Had we washed our hands of their father and sister, yeh sure, the boys' lives would have been more stable and they would not have had to sacrifice anything but the lost souls of their father and sister. Now we are all here and all coming along quite well. The boys know the bad doesn't always stay bad and sometimes love can save a lost cause.
So, last year I started believing it was OK to step out of the box. It's better for me to have some outside interests and better for them to know I'm not always going to be there and yes, they have the strength to stand and think for themselves. When I nearly lost my head skiing last year, I think we all realized, gee, mom is mortal. It confirmed the direction we were all heading in.
So now I'm stepping out of the box, although, I think I've lost a bit of myself in the past journey. I think one bit is tolerance. I did not give my family the choice to give up. I think this is why I have a hard time feeling compassion for those who do.
See I am a bit of a loon. I'm the long winded-one at the end of the lake.
*laughs*
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[ Reply ] |
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Coming out of the box... | by ShadoCat | 2005-08-05 16:37:59 |
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