| ...and our own reputation as Canadians, I'd say contact between the Danish patrol cutter and a Canadian frigate would go something like this.
Canadian Commanding Officer: Get out of our waters, eh.
Danish Commanding Officer: These aren't your waters, and that's our island.
C: Is not. Don't make us do anything you'll regret, eh.
D: We're asserting our sovereign rights.
C: Not in our waters you're not. This is Canada, eh.
D: (To his XO) Why does he keep saying "Eh"?
Danish XO: It's a linguistic affectation. Kind of like how the Swedes speak when they get pisstank drunk.
C: Move that boat or we'll open fire, eh.
D: You wouldn't dare.
C: (To his WCO) Fire a shot across their bow.
[BOOM] [SPLOOSH]
D: Luderbarn! Return the favour!
DXO: Sorry, sir. The forty shells we have are the wrong calibre for the gun.
D: Captain of Canadian Navy Frigate, we will protest this to the highest levels!
C: Take that, eh.
D: What now?
[silence]
D: Hello?
C: Yeah. Listen, this isn't going to work.
D: We can't return fire. What are you complaining about?
C: That was our only shell.
D: Ahh. An impasse?
C: Yeah. Want to come over for a Double Double?
D: I'll bring the Danishes, eh. |
