-What's written on the bottom of beer bottles in $country?
-"Open other end".
How can you tell a $countryman has been using your word processor?
-Tipp-Ex all over the screen.
A $countryman inherited a large lot of forested land, so he went to buy a chainsaw. The hardware storekeeper sold him the latest model, a bit expensive, but, he said, with this one you can easily cut down at least 20 trees a day! Customer takes his tool home. Comes back later, complaining that he barely managed to fell only three trees in two days. "That's funny" says the salesman, "let's see what's wrong with it." So they go in the back yard, salesman pulls the starting rope and the chainsaw roars into life.
-"WHAT THE - - IS THAT NOISE?"
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