Listen and I'll tell you a tale I've been told
of a union organizer who knocked a starship cold
They met where the stars are scattered thin out along the galactic rim
And starfleet command is sorry that they ever ran into him
   
  Chorus:
    Put up your guns
    Run while you can
    Look out here comes the union man

Now the ship was patrolling rim stars when she got a call for aid
And up come a local convoy in a hurried grim parade
Saying "Captain we've caught a monster whose far much for us by far
So take him and throw him into the heart of the nearest star."

    (chorus)

"Just why do you need a whole convoy?" the Captain wished to know
"Three ships to guard the other lest they fall to the cargo."
Now the Captain was intrigued and he said, "Stand by for scan"
But all that showed on the viewing screen was the little ol' union man

The Captain said "I can take him" and he beamed the man aboard
The convoy turned and raced away crying "Thank the Lord!"
Then the Captain looked him over asking "Just what's going on,
That they sent out half their trading fleet just to make sure you were gone?"

    (chorus)

The little old man just chuckled saying "Captain don't you know
My job is organizing wherever I may go
And I can build a union out of anything you got
And the folks that run that planet well they disliked that a lot."

    (chorus)

"I first organized the laborers, Then I unionized the clerks
Then I unionized the robots that staffed the atomic works
But when I organized the milk cows and led them out on strike
Well you can guess what official reaction to that was like."

    (chorus)

"Amazing," said the Captain, "but you can't do that in here
My crew are loyal Navy men and we've no cause for fear"
But he heard the old man saying as he walked out the door
"Captain, you knoe, there have so been Navy unions before."

    (chorus)

Well the Captain soon forgot him setting course for starbase five
For all he saw the union man he might not ever of been alive
Till a troubled ensign asked him "is it true sir what they say?
That we've got high hazard duty without high hazard pay?"

    (chorus)

Well the Captain couldn't answer except to say "It's true
Starfleet could pay you better but there's not much I can do."
But when he woke up next morning he found out what morale was like
For the bridge was filled with pickets and the whole crew was on strike

    (chorus)

Then the union man walked up and said "I'm sorry to trouble you
But your ship is now a job shop of the I-W-W-U
We've sent our demands to Starfleet command and they said they'd grant us none
So we're just gonna keep on sailing till this strike is won."

    (chorus)

"Now further we've decided to run this co-op style
Giving everyone experience at each others' job awhile
We like you too much to dump you at the first Starbase we see
But we voted you to the galley and this weeks command to me"

    (chorus)

So somewhere down in the galley you'll find poor Captain Kirk
Scrubbing away on dishes swearing, "It'll never work"
And Spock as he dries those dishes says "It might succeed I fear
And please Sir while you're washing don't splash water in my ear."

    (chorus)