. . . least qualified]". I *would* grand "frequently abused".
To be effective, corporal punishment *has* to be used sparingly,
IME. If it is the exception, rather than the rule, it makes a deep
and lasting impression. In cases where it is overused, I have
seen children become "hardened" to it, ultimately becoming resentful
of any imposition of discipline. YMMV.
I certainly would *not* consider the use of corporal punishment
as an unqualified "sign of weakness", as stated by another poster;
but I *would* consider its misuse to be so--and more specifically,
to be a sign of lack of self-discipline, on the part of the parent.
Unfortunately, I have seen plenty of younger parents treat their
children abusively--even without corporal punishment--in my own
presence; and I have to agree that abuse of the parentel role of
disciplinarian is widespread, regardless of form.
Case in point: one of SWMBO's goddaughters, whose little girls
are *my* goddaughters. She yells and screams at them, calling
them names, and tearing them down, instead of addressing their
misbehavior as the unacceptable aberration it is supposed to be;
indeed, she doesn't even give them consistent boundaries. Small
wonder they act like yardapes, for her, and resist any of her
highly-erratic, volatile attempts at discipline.
Funny thing is, by remaining calm, yet instistent, regarding how
they are to behave, I am able to get them to "play nice".
There was one--and only one--occasion, on which I know some
form of corporal punishment to have been administered, as I was
in the unpleasant position of having to do it, after all other
measures available had been exhausted. Sure, it startled the
kid; but she finally *listened* when told her behavior had been
unacceptable (physical cruelty to other children was involved);
and after a few tears and a bit of comforting, was back playing
(now nicely) with the other kids.
I naturally took great pains to make it abundantly clear that
*only* her behavior had been unacceptable; that it was perfectly
OK for her not to like me very well, at the moment; and that she
was still very much loved, *in spite of* her misbehavior.
I can't say I would trust her mother[1] to exercise sufficient
restraint, were she to administer corporal punishment; nor to
"pick up the pieces", properly, which is at least as important:
she simply hasn't experienced that delicate balance, even as
(grossly) imperfectly as I have, in her own upbringing.
In any case, that single "swat" has never needed repetition--not
even when the kid deliberatly tried to goad me into it (which did
earn her a well-enforced time out); and I think she has some idea
of what an extreme measure I considered it to be. Over time, she
has come to expect a consistent, proportionate response to her
behavior from at least one adult in her life. I wish she could
expect as much from more of us, as I fear that she will become
quite a "handful", when adolescence looses all the resentments
a child can only afford to "stuff", until they have some degree
of physical independence.
--
HadEnuf?
[1] The woman is a real piece of work. If anything, she needs a
spanking worse than either of her kids ever have; but turning an
attractive, thirty-year-old woman over my knee would probably be
a very bad idea, indeed--escpecially since I'm not sure that she
wouldn't "get off" on it, which is just a little *too* "icky", IMO. |
