Okay -- have ANY of you posers and judges and such actually been IN an abusive situation? Do you have any idea at all what happens and how demoralized a person can become?
Case in point: Me. I was emotionally abused for over ten years. Yes, I knew it was bad. Yes, I was aware of the 'women helping battered women' -- bah on them, as most of them were LITERALLY man-haters; a large percentage were lesbians AND man-haters (nothing wrong with being lesbian!). Oh yeah, the kind of people who have COMPASSION? I tell you that they had none.
Plus, because I wasn't having the S4 beaten out of me, MY priority in those programs was at the bottom of the list. When I did leave for the first time, HE GOT CUSTODY because HE could afford a high-powered attorney who twisted things.
So to keep my daughter, I went back.
It took two years for me to rebuild who I was and create enough courage to leave, enough resources to survive, friends who didn't JUDGE.
My ex told me every single day and several times a day that I would never be good enough, traditional enough, sane enough -- I wasn't ENOUGH of a human being, and I was lucky to have him.
Hear that enough times, and you'll start to believe it.
"Getting a clue and doing something with our lives" happens to the lucky ones. Being able to comprehend that the abuser is *wrong* is an enormous hurdle.
Having lived it, I'll ask those of you fortunate enough not to UNDERSTAND to shut up and quit waving your ignorance about. |
