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| not comparing |
by dennismv |
2004-12-21 21:12:35 |
not comparing and not competing.
Pop.psychology books say to do your things for yourself. Don't try to impress others. Because if you always try to impress others, you are going to fail, as you can't possibly impress others all the time. Thus, if you fail, you will not be happy.
In any competition you are comparing yourself to others. Since most of the time, there will be someone who did better than you, you will feel like you've lost, and thus be unahappy.
Thus, pop.psych says do not compete, or else unhappy will you be.
Ok, fine.
Why is then may I ask, wheverer I look there is a competition somewhere. Grades are assigned to students, with someone being assigned the best grade, and all others get a lower one. Competitive sports are being played, and etc.etc. ?
Perhaps, the comparing thing can be understood as "don't compare to others". Ok, then is competing against yourself okay ? If so, then it doesn't matter i.e. which grade you got, as you know you go the best grade for yourself. Next time you can try to outdo yourself and try to get a better grade. But then still you will never be happy, as you will never be satisfied with your grade unless it's the best possible one that can ever be assigned. i.e. A+. And if you get A+, only then you will feel like you've did your job, and feel satisfied.
The problem is you can't always get the ultimately best possible grade. Thus, what do you do ? Lower your standards ? Accept to be in the top 10% ? Maybe this will work.
But will it work all the time ? What if you find yourself in the lower 90%. Then you'll be unhappy as you've failed your goal to be in the top 10%.
What do you do then ? Maybe you can stop comparing yourself to yourself in addition to stopping comparing yourself to others. So, no comparing period.
But then you may as well slack off and be in the bottom 1% while feeling happy with yourself. That's an extreme you may say.
Ok, how about being satisfied if you get to be somewhere around 50% ? Still, it's being happy in your own mediocricy. Or maybe it's not mediocre ? You can't say it's mediocre, since you can't compare anymore. But if you can't compare anymore, you may as well be in the bottom 1%. And if everybody is content with being in the bottom 1% of the original scale, and not doing their best, then humanity as we know it is doomed to whither away in it's own low (on original scale) expectations.
Is there a viable solution to this problem of not comparing, yet still being happy and productive ? |
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