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(someone was asking) why people despise MicroSoft | by swisscheese | 2006-11-19 12:55:59 |
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I can see a potential work-around to that... | by nix | 2004-12-14 16:39:44 |
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AFAIK, MS doesn't have the legal right to | by swisscheese | 2004-12-14 16:46:42 |
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Unfortunately, that's not entirely accurate... | by Elessar | 2004-12-14 17:04:54 |
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I love the EULA of an ATi card I bought years ago. | by EhreVerriet | 2004-12-14 17:19:34 |
| my all-time favorite EULA |
by swisscheese |
2004-12-14 17:51:06 |
This may or may not be a real (FWIW, I originally saw this as an image --presumably scanned) EULA for
Interactive Easyflow from Haventree Software (a company that is no more, alas)
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Bloodthirsty License Agreement
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
This is where the bloodthirsty license agreement is supposed to go,
explaining that EasyFlow is a copyrighted package, sternly warning you
not to pirate copies of it and explaining, in detail, the gory
consequences if you do.
We know that you are an honest person, and are not going to go around
pirating copies of EasyFlow; this is just as well with us since we
worked hard to perfect it and selling copies of it is our only method
of making anything out of all the hard work. For your convenience
EasyFlow Is distributed on a non copy-protected diskette and you are
free to do what you want with it (make backups, move from machine to
machine, etc.) provided that it is never in use by more than one
person at a time.
If, on the other hand, you are one of those few people who do go
around pirating copies of software, you probably aren't going to pay
much attention to a license agreement, bloodthirsty or not. Just keep
your doors locked and look out for the HavenTree attack shark.
Honest Disclaimer
We don't claim EasyFlow is good for anything - if you think it is,
great, but it's up to you to decide. If EasyFlow doesn't work: tough.
if you lose a million because EasyFlow messes up, it's you that's out
the million, not us. If you don't like this disclaimer, tough. We
reserve the right to do the absolute minimum provided by law, up to
and including nothing.
This is basically the same disclaimer that comes with all software
package but ours is in plain English and theirs is in legalese.
We didn't really want to include any disclaimer at all, but our
lawyers insisted. We tried to ignore them but they threatened us with
the attack shark (see license agreement above) at which point we
relented.
DON'T LOSE THE MANUAL
That's right; don't lose this manual. Especially don't lose it before
you have read this page. Why are we telling you this? Isn't it obvious
that you shouldn't lose the manual?
That's what we thought. Then we started getting all these calls from
people saying "Hi! I'm Joe Blow and you've never heard of me, but I
bought a copy of EasyFlow from FlyByNite Software and now I can't find
the manual... will you send me a new one free?".
At first we were nice guys and went along with this. Then we started
getting a bit more hard nosed about it; after all it is trivial to
copy the disk but the manual involves somewhat more work. Now we had
to agonize over each request and try to distinguish between the
genuine unfortunate ("the dog chewed it up") and the merely
unscrupulous looking for free software.
So what does everybody else do? We phoned the local Chevy dealer and
told them we had misplaced the engine out of our new Camaro; that call
didn't get us much useful information. Well ... cars aren't software.
We called Borland and gave them a song and dance about losing our
Turbo Pascal manual; they said to mail a letter to their "Lost Manual
Review Committee". Wow! What a good idea. So we immediately rushed
out and set up our Lost Manual Review Committee. The Committee meets
once a month. They don't send out many replacement manuals, but they
seem to do a lot of howling, rolling around on the floor and saying
things like, "Oh wow - listen to this one".
Don't lose the manual.
Replacement manuals are available without going through the Committee
for US$147.95 each.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If it's not true -- it ought'a be!!!
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[ Reply ] |
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well, well, I guess it *is* real | by swisscheese | 2006-11-19 12:55:59 |
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