| lessons learned from seriously crappy events in my own life.
If you end up in knock-down, drag-out fights over stuff, you've got more problems in that relationship than the stuff itself. Annoyances are one thing, but serious fights are quite another. I've been there, truly I have. I've been so mad that the thinking parts of my brain shut down and I went on purely on impulse and anger. I reacted and actions that I am not proud of occurred.
If you are at this stage with this woman...where you are unable to have a discussion rather than a fight over stuff...neither of you is ready for a lifelong commitment in this upcoming marriage. Why do you think the divorce rate is so high? It's because people are unable to resolve issues, or they've picked the completely wrong person to begin with.
So I'd suggest that you've got three options:
- Get married after this fight is over and spend your life bouncing from crappy event to crappy event.
- Stay with this girl and BOTH of you get some sort of counselling to get past the ways you deal with crisises (sp?).
- Give up on this one, get the help YOU need to deal with conflict, and hope that you find the woman who is right for you.
Believe me, I know of what I speak. Please don't just go on as if nothing happened here...the consequences are awful.
KS |
