| From: The Guncrank Diaries: on Sissies |
by DesertRat66 |
2004-12-06 09:12:15 |
I was going to say something about this myself when I saw the commercial. However Mr Conner has a way with words.
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Begin Excerpt:
We All Know What Sissies Are, Right?
You know what I mean. They're like Idjits and Morons, coming in all colors, flavors, "life-style preferences" and two, three, or five genders, depending on what state you live in. For instance. This burglar-alarm company has a commercial out right now. Inside the house, Dad is up in the study playin' with his video-games or something. Mom's getting the kiddies ready for bed. Oh, horrors! There's a Bad Guy outside, breaking in! Wee-Honk! Wee-Honk! DangDangDang! - the alarm screams! Shocked and confused, Mom flies in a fluttery-action, huddling the kiddies, I guess to make a more centralized target; beats me. The phone rings. It's the alarm company dude, asking if they got a problem. Here comes the best part: Momma Hen's got the chicks huddled in the hall, and Dad comes bumbling out, moving and looking like he just smoked a Bob Marley Memorial Ganga-Bomber! And what does he ask? "What's going on?"
What's wrong with this picture folks? It's full of Simpering Sissies, Insipid Idgits, and Mutant Morons! Oh, this is so wrong on so many levels! Where's your Immediate Action drill? Got a plan to repel boarders? Why were you surprised the alarm went off? Ain't that what it's for? Don't the RugRatz already know what to do? NO? Whose fault is that? Where the HECK is your Duty 870*? Oh, Man!
Then there's "the Dad-person." What does it mean when you're in a house and the burglar alarm goes off? Get the door, it's Domino's Pizza? These people don't need an alarm system, they need adult supervision, like a Sissy-Sitter. I've done some of that kind of work, but the subjects were mostly elected officials...
End Excerpt
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* Duty 870 refers to the Remington 870 Shotgun. the standard by which all other combat shotguns are measured. Mine got replaced by an AR-15 after FBI tests showed the 5.56 carbine had less lethality in the event of a miss or ricochet. |
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[ Reply ] |
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This is the stuff that makes me glad I'm in Norway | by Pic | 2004-12-06 09:19:58 |
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I'm thinking along the same lines. | by Number_Six | 2004-12-06 09:27:15 |
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it is not so much constant paranoia as it is | by evilsysadmin | 2004-12-06 09:36:42 |
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I have redundant fire-alarms in my house | by DesertRat66 | 2004-12-06 09:43:10 |
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everyone should have redundant fire alarms | by evilsysadmin | 2004-12-06 09:57:34 |
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Indeed | by DesertRat66 | 2004-12-06 10:08:53 |
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Fire Extinguisher|Fire = Gun|Burglar (n/t) | by Havoc | 2004-12-06 10:51:16 |
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... and, of course, they don't, | by run.dll | 2006-11-19 12:55:59 |
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Your liberals must be different from ours | by ShadoCat | 2004-12-06 10:50:54 |
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Our Liberals | by run.dll | 2004-12-06 12:03:12 |
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Fear's got nothing to do with it. | by DesertRat66 | 2004-12-06 09:40:17 |
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How many home invasions... | by Number_Six | 2004-12-06 10:35:45 |
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I'm not a mind reader but | by ShadoCat | 2004-12-06 10:55:24 |
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Don't get me started on that one... | by jdelphiki | 2004-12-06 11:10:48 |
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Don't know, but it only takes one | by DesertRat66 | 2004-12-06 11:06:22 |
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Most of us don't | by ShadoCat | 2004-12-06 10:05:24 |
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Amen! | by LurkerMo | 2004-12-06 10:19:43 |
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Yep | by ShadoCat | 2004-12-06 11:00:36 |
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I have several guns and 2 children in the house. | by evilsysadmin | 2004-12-06 10:49:23 |
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you keep your gun loaded?!! | by gibuu | 2004-12-06 11:12:11 |
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Not at all | by DesertRat66 | 2004-12-06 11:23:00 |
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its against the law, here in Canada | by gibuu | 2004-12-06 11:32:04 |
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You verify before putting it into storage... | by retiqlum2 | 2004-12-06 12:03:42 |
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One thing that always makes me laugh | by DesertRat66 | 2004-12-06 12:08:09 |
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I forgot to mention: | by retiqlum2 | 2004-12-06 12:13:48 |
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Once here | by DesertRat66 | 2004-12-06 12:23:22 |
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Always, always always. (n/t) | by retiqlum2 | 2004-12-06 12:31:59 |
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ditto (n/t) | by gibuu | 2004-12-06 12:45:11 |
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That depends | by DesertRat66 | 2004-12-06 12:05:25 |
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Another person I wouldn't mind in my neighborhood | by ShadoCat | 2004-12-06 11:22:55 |
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Same here | by celticess | 2004-12-06 10:42:59 |
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time of day != safety | by DesertRat66 | 2004-12-06 12:17:29 |
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I didn't say it was perfectly safe | by celticess | 2004-12-06 13:56:51 |
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Like the sign says: | by run.dll | 2004-12-06 09:23:37 |
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"This house protected by Smith & Wesson" | by DaNutBall | 2004-12-06 14:00:05 |
