... this thing called a 'wedding' is a thinly-veiled attempt to dehumanize and brainwash the groom, until his only recourse (and programmed reaction) is to simply say "Yes, dear," and haul out the wallet.
For those with so-called 'functional' families, this would probably apply to the father of the bride, as well... but no one ever sees that poor sod anyway - he's reduced to a yes-man, rubber-stamping the blank checks that his ever-loving daughter and faithful wife are handing out like candy on Halloween. If lucky, he'll get to decide which shoe to shine first on the Big Day, but even then his wife will probably take it away from him and shine it herself, because - "as everybody knows" - he can't do it right himself. (This is probably because the poor schmuck has retreated to his Happy Place, in a sort of trauma-induced shell shock, caused by the memories of HIS wedding.)
The groom, despite repeated programming by the bride, has more of a say in the affair. He may, if lucky, even get to decide which of his friends is his best man. That's assuming, of course, that any of his friends are dumb enough to let themselves get sucked into this whirlwind of confusion. Most men seem to have a healthy instinct for avoiding this kind of thing, which, if nothing else, is probably fortunate for the continuation of the race.
Not that I'm bitter, or anything. :)
Seriously, who thought up this wedding crap? I'll join you in much splat-making...
Weddings are not an event, they are a series of catastrophies tumbling forward through time, culminating in an avalanche of destruction that forever changes the lives of everyone involved. Your only hope is to hang on and let the women drive, men... trust me on this.
Oh, and you get to clean up afterwards, too.
--sofaspud
--and despite this, I'm *still* getting married... geez, I'm a schmuck. |
