This evening, I did what is perhaps the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I took our family cat to the vet for her final visit. Hanna came into our lives 3 days after my wife and I moved into our house. I will never forget sitting the carrier down in the kitchen and opening the door. Hanna walked out, looked around the room, then turned and went back into the carrier as if to say "ok, I'm ready to go home now." Ten years later, she left that carrier for the last time in the vet's office.
We had 4 years to prepare for this, but it doesn't make it any easier. In March of 2000, we discovered she had an enlarged heart and tumors in her lungs. The vet gave her 30 days, probably less. She had been on medication ever since that day to help with that, and she seemed to be doing much better for quite awhile. At one checkup, the examining vet remarked the she would not know there was anything wrong with Hanna had she not read the history. Now, 4 years later, it is finally over. She had been declining in recent weeks and we made an appointment to see what could be done, if anything. The vet discovered a massive tumor on her one kidney, and suspected one on her other. He could feel the tumor masses in her abdomen. The only medical option was to have her put to sleep. People who have pets will understand just how attached you become. They ARE one of the family. My 7 year old daughter is handling it pretty well. I don't think she fully realizes just what happened tonight (My wife and the girls were having dinner at McDonalds when I took the cat to the vet). My wife had expected this and said her goodbyes this morning before leaving for work. I said mine in the examining room at the vet's office. I know she is better off now, but it still hurts. She knew it was the end, and I like to think she understood and was thankful for the end to be here. I hope she wasn't suffering the past few weeks. When I was holding her in my arms saying goodbye, she put her paw on my arm and laid her head on my shoulder, almost as if to say she understood and to say goodbye in her own way.
Goodbye Hanna. You were well loved. You will be greatly missed.
If you have read this far, thank you. It helps a little to 'talk', even if it is in an on-line message forum. Thank you for listening. |
