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Any BC'ers know what days/courts in lower mainland | by Celticess | 2004-02-16 12:01:20 |
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{{{Celticess}}} | by Reddy | 2004-02-16 12:14:12 |
| Yea |
by Celticess |
2004-02-16 13:02:25 |
Well tho you can't see it because your not on livejournal... My last entry explains several things my exhusband did to me. And that talking to two of his ex's one awhile ago and one more recient caused some flashbacks. It could induce post traumatic stress disorder panic related attacks and stuff. I fought for years to overcome the psychological damage my ex did... the nightmares, the panic when held sometimes, panic during intimacy... all that stuff. Some aspects of the abuse were just a dim memory... not quite forgotten but as far back as they could go... Talking with thease women brought it up and hearing their fear/concerns reminded me of what going through that stuff all felt like. It wasn't a pleasant thing to remember but I was trying to be supportive of them.
But tho my ex husband and I get along reasonably now he has an awful temper, and he doesn't like it when his fasod<sp> is broken. He will say I'm lying or try to reword things to make it sound like I'm crazy or misunderstood... he's done it in past and he did it to thease other women too. He is 6ft tall about 190lbs... he is bigger and stronger than me... and tho I've fought since being seperated from him to never let him see how much he can get to me ... truth is he scares me. And I know he's good at his games and he has some very bad people in his court... however I've grown aware he's also afraid of me because I have our son, I'm aware of my rights and several other things, and I do know of things that now he can't hold other stuff over my head to prevent me from repeating.(also explained in my lj) But when you've been stalked, abused, harassed, and the legal system has failed you(they'd not prosecute him when he held me against my will and they told me similarly they'd not give me a restraing order unless he nearly killed me or put me in the hospital) it makes you kind of afraid to stand infront of the person and risk their wrath by speaking of what they did.(frankly I think part of one of the reasons I'm still alive tho is I didn't keep my mouth shut so if I suddenly disappeared or something pretty much everyone that knows me would know he did it)
He's behaving for now and I have to hope he will in court. I just don't want to have to look at his cold and likely angry face when I start reciting what he did to me... and I have a feeling I will get asked what he did to me. Because in my medical reports it states some of my health stuff is likely a result of abuse and common in abuse victims. And I'll likely get asked about my ex's participation in my sons disabled related things and again he wont like that because he doesn't want to admit our son is diffrent.(which really bothers our son .. he asks why daddy wont go to his meetings and he knows I've invited his dad... he's heard me tell his dad and school staff to invite him but he never comes...)
Bellator will likely arrive after court. He doesn't have the finances to come yet. And I reminded him even if he did he needs to book flights I think at least a month in advance.(I don't fly but people I know that have travelled usually booked up to 3 months in advance) All the same tho he hopes to be here for my birthday. |
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It would be great | by Reddy | 2004-02-16 17:08:28 |
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