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The difference between cats and dogs. by subbywan 2004-02-16 10:01:55
As seen in a dog's diary:

8am -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9am -- Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite

10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!

11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite! Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

1pm -- Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!

3pm -- Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!

4pm -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!

5pm -- Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!

7pm -- Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

9pm -- Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!


As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn more about this is, and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies, or morelikely snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, for now his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
[ Reply ]
  I like! (n/t) by niwikki2004-02-16 10:12:54
  Yeah, right. by nin_man2004-02-16 10:19:01

 

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