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| The difference between cats and dogs. |
by subbywan |
2004-02-16 10:01:55 |
As seen in a dog's diary:
8am -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am -- Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite! Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm -- Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm -- Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm -- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm -- Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm -- Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm -- Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
As seen in a cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn more about this is, and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies, or morelikely snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, for now his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
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[ Reply ] |
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I like! (n/t) | by niwikki | 2004-02-16 10:12:54 |
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Yeah, right. | by nin_man | 2004-02-16 10:19:01 |
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