How sick is this? As if the original post wasn't bad enough, I got a request for an extended version. You're doubly warned this time: Don't read on if you value your current digestive tranquility.
The Ballmer Bounce
I'm thuggin' and I'm buggin' and I'm bone-deep mean!
I never been scared no matter what I've seen!
But what I just saw, it made me girly scream
It was Steve Ballmer naked on a trampoline!
Naked Steve Ballmer on a trampoline!
He's slick and he's glistenin' like Vasoline!
He's big and he's bouncin' and he smells like spleen!
He's naked Steve Ballmer on a trampoline!
There's fat rolls risin' and there's fat rolls droppin'!
Jowls jump like jelly while the belly's all floppin'!
He's stinkin' and he's steamin' and there's no sign of stoppin'!
Sweat puddle's growin' and it's spillin' and it's sloppin'!
Naked Steve Ballmer on a trampoline!
Never seen nothin' lookin' THIS obscene!
Never ever gonna get the carpet clean
'Cause it's under Steve Ballmer on a trampoline!
Buttcheeks bouncin' at different rates, one liftin' while one falls!
His pores leak greasy butter and it's sprayin' on the walls!
But one thing's pretty clear to me although the thought appalls
Say what you like about the man, that Ballmer sure has balls!
Buttcrack sweat in my eye!
I got buttcrack sweat in my eye!
Lay me down Lord and let me die!
I got buttcrack sweat in my eye!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!
He's a jolly jumpin' Jello mold in a vaguely human shape!
Crusty crumbs of long-passed meals from flapping folds escape!
Hear the suffering springs of the trampoline begin to scream and scrape!
Gonna clean my eyes and shut 'em tight and seal 'em up with tape!
Naked Steve Ballmer on a trampoline!
Naked Steve Ballmer on a trampoline!
I wish I'd died before I'd seen
Naked Steve Ballmer on a TRAMPOLINE!!!
He's naked, he's naked on a trampoline!
HEY THERE STEVIE, WHADDYA SAY?
He's boostin' his business to the stratosphere!
SHOW US YOUR SOFTWARE, YA BOUNCIN' FOOL!
He's naked, he's naked on a trampoline!
IS THAT DEVICE THERE PLUG AND PLAY?
You damn developers, bow down in fear!
OR IS IT JUST A HANDHELD TOOL?
Naked Steve Ballmer on a trampoline!
Naked Steve Ballmer on a trampoline!
I wish I'd died before I'd seen
Naked Steve Ballmer on a TRAMPOLINE!!! |
