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software/system requirements Specification outline | by jeff_uk | 2004-02-05 12:03:17 |
| well this was posted a few weeks ago .. |
by daveh |
2004-02-05 12:41:46 |
In an attempt to further the relationship between software engineers and the rest of the world we will now try to explain why software engineers are so antisocial and mildly psychopathic.
Let us place the software development process in context of a more defined and respected discipline. We will choose the profession of Aircraft design.
When a company wishes to have a new aircraft built. The process is fairly clear and well defined. Every member of the companies management understands that the aircraft designer has certain skills and generally knows what he is talking about when he gives his opinion on the cost/practicality/safety of a certain design idea his word is listened to.
As such an aircraft designer is given an appropriate amount of time to develop a clearly defined requirement that is generally very possible and easy.
Now if we equate this to the average software engineering project it would go something like this.
A middle level management exec. Whom we shall call KB, for simplicity sake.
KB has never driven a car in his life. But having seen his chauffeur do the job for years quite rightly considers him self a expert on automobile mechanics.
One Monday morning He finds an old VW beetle in the back of the company car park. Looking over it quickly for 5 minutes he decides to take it to a mechanic in the middle of the Nevada desert who specializes in Ford Pickup trucks. The conversation goes something like this.
KB: " This thing. Errm .. I think it should fly. Should be easy enough you already have the engine. "
Mechanic: "????????"
At this point KB turns around and heads out of the door. Just before closing the door he turns around and says.
KB: "Oh and it needs to be ready for Friday. If you need any help don't hesitate to contact me here is my phone number. "
Mechanic: "err but It.. ??"
At this point KB once again walks out of the door. And just before getting into his limousine pull out his cell phone and looks at it for a second. Then promptly turns it off. He thinks for a few more seconds.. and throws the cell phone into the nearest trash can before boarding his limousine.
The Mechanic meanwhile starts to consider what he has been asked to do.
Over the next 4 days he manages to achieve the following.
* Research the physics involved in flight.
* Attempts to Phone KB for a bit more information of his plans for the contraption.
* Struggles to get his SE sized tools to fit the Metric nuts used in the German VW.
* Attempts to Phone KB to discover if he has any budget to buy Metric tools.
* Manages to Construct Wings rudders and control circuitry from left over materials within the shop.
* Manages to connect a shaft to the rear engine to power a prop at the front of the beetle.
On Friday evening KB turns up at the Mechanic's shop.
Mechanic: "Well I've not really had chance to test this and we have a lot of stuff still to do but you should be able to get a clear idea where we are going?"
KB: "What do you mean you've had all week for this. I don't know its not rocket science engineers have been making things fly for almost a hundred years now."
KB: "Anyway lets see what you have. "
He walks through the shop and looks over the hodge podge of engineering.
KB: "Hmmm ... those big wing things.. There a little bit ugly. And I don't think they're going to be very practical driving down the I-75. And this engine, it sounds a bit noisy. Do you think we could fit one from that BMW parked out back? Anyway I have to go now"
At this point Kb heads off again.
Mechanic: "Errr your phone... Money.. errrrr"
So again the Mechanic looks at the car. This time he manages to develop the wings such that the roof of the car can be lowered and the wings collapsed into the back seat while driving down the road. He also manages to remove the engine from the BMW and mount it into the VW using only the tools designed for working on his US Fords. At this point he is quite proud of what he has achieved but still hasn't had the chance to test any of this.
2 days later KB once again turns up. Takes a look over the contraption.
KB: "I thought I made it fairly clear that I'm going to need to get at least 4 people into this thing. With all that space used up buy the engine and the wings I really don't think that's going to be possible. Heck even just one person is not going to be very comfortable. "
KB: "and lets see if we can have this ready for tomorrow evening can we. "
He then leaves clearly not very happy.
The Mechanic is seriously starting to loose a few screws at this point but decides to give it one more try.
He goes back to the research and decides its time to take a whole new approach.
Working all through Sunday night and into the latter hours of Monday he achieves the following.
* Removes all the previous modifications to the beetle.
* Cuts the beetle in half and extends the cabin section by an extra 3 feet to house the BMW engine between the Front and rear seats of the car.
* Welds the whole thing back together structurally reinforcing the center cabin.
* Mounts a vertical shaft to the BMW Engine with collapsible prop blades.
* Mounts a horizontal shafts to the back of the car supporting a leveling rotor driven buy the now insulated and silenced VW engine.
KB doesn't turn up for another 24 hours. But being in a good mood the mechanic manages to find a Aircraft test pilot who tests and certifies this now VW Beetle/Helicopter conversion. In his spare time he also manages to remove the leather seats and Bose stereo system from the BMW and fits them into the new contraption.
At this point KB turns up again. Doesn't even look at the new creation. But simply says.
KB: "you know I've been giving this a lot of thought over the last few hours.. What we really need is a submarine. But heck that shouldn't be to difficult we already have the engine?"
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[ Reply ] |
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Looks Very funny. Altho i'm a bit bust to read it (n/t) | by jeff_uk | 2004-02-05 12:49:52 |
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/s/bust/busy , took break, very funny :) (n/t) | by jeff_uk | 2004-02-05 13:02:10 |
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