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NOLA... You are supposing... | by nelzie | 2003-11-03 06:45:27 |
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OK, time to dig in and respond. | by NOLAWitch | 2003-11-03 10:41:58 |
| It's an upbringing thing... |
by nelzie |
2003-11-03 12:39:58 |
Your latest statement about the New Orleans school lends a great deal more weight and I can say that I do believe those schools are that bad.
However, I am still unable to understand how they could have been allowed to get so bad without the parents, the schoolboard or someone doing something. It can't be simply for lack of funding, each school should have enough money for basic amnemities. Destruction of school, thus public, property should be handled by the local police department and the culprits should be caught relatively easily, if even half of the forensic evidence television shows are to be believed. (No, I am not talking about CSI or other 'cop shows'.)
Maybe I am missing something here, but in my school days, if a student did something destructive in the bathroom, like one memorable incident with liquid drano, aluminum foil and a 2-liter bottle, they are caught pretty quick and dealt with fairly harshly.
Perhaps the schools in New Orleans are VERY poorly funded and perhaps they need some additional influx of cash assets. How will cash help though? It needs tasks to be assigned to in order to be any good. Do they add in-school constables? Do they add crisis councelors? Do they add additional teachers? Do they build new buildings or add to existing buildings?
"If you don't see that there is any way for money to be an assisting factor, what DO you think would help?"
Better parenting for a start. This is probably the most difficult thing to institute since good parenting typically begets good parenting and bad parenting, again, typically begets more bad parenting. In some cases it requires a changing to the rules of parenting.
Throughout the late 80's and early 90's parents had their hands tied by 'well-meaning' policitians and parenting groups and parenting counselors by making it impossible to truly punish children and show them who the boss is. Now, I am not advocating the wholesale beating and torture of children. What I am suggesting is merely a return to the parenting that resulted in the creation of many of the upstanding citizens we have in our society today.
For instance, I have heard dozens of peope proclaim how they wish they could swat their children on the rear when they do something 'bad'. They further state how that was done to them a few times, which put them in their place and helped them become who they are today. Then they go on to proclaim how they have no control over their children, how time outs don't work, how words mean nothing and their children are hellions.
I say, smack the kid on the rear, but don't go overboard. Teach them to respect authority without teaching them to fear and forever disrespect authority. There is a fine balance to maintain here that is to easy to loose.
Now, you call money an 'assisting factor' when before you lead me to believe it as the answer to the problem.
I still say if a parent isn't interested in what his/her child is doing in school or in life today, giving that person more money won't change their view of their children tomorrow.
A good example of a person with money and a child is or rather was Courtney Love. By all accounts she is financially well off, but that didn't give her any reason to care anymore for her child then anyone else. (Her child was recently taken from her by the State, I understand.)
Money will not change someone's parenting.
I fear that for most 'parents' that would be considered 'bad parents' by even some of the loosest standards, the only hope would be to extricate the children from those households and neuter the 'parents' to keep them from producing more offspring. I mean there is a glut of people willing to adopt children in this country.
We almost need to institute a nationwide license program for people to be allowed to become parents. I only suggest this because the way our society has developed in the recent few generations the fabric of family and thus societies rules, mores and ethics have begun to break down.
There was a time in this nation's history when there was significantly less crime, significantly less violent crime and significanly more courtesy and kindness on the street. As the family unit became less and less important the crime rate rose, violence rose and courtesy and kindness started to disappear.
Now, I am not saying at all that those times were better. I am not saying at all that strong families will immediately end crime, immediately end violence and immediately bring courtesy and kindness back to the streets. What I am saying is that people learn how to act, how to react and how to be a person from their family.
If your family teaches you that it's fine to take anything, no matter who claims ownership on it, then you will do what when you go out in the world. If you family teaches you that the world 'owes' you everything, then you will go out expecting what you are 'owed'. If your family teaches you to be rude, mean and even diabolical towards your fellow man, then you will be that way.
However, if your family teaches you to care, you will most likely care. If you family teaches you that you will reap rewards by working hard and learning, then you will most likely do that. If you family teaches you to be courteous and kind to one another, then you will most likely be that way as well.
"How can people be cajoled into being better parents?"
They can't be cajoled into being better parents. It is simply not possible to make someone change, unless they want to change themselves. You can mold someone as a child, when they are impressionable, but after they have matured to a certain point it is simple something that takes a conscience effort on their part to achieve.
Such change takes work and a large number of the people that aren't good parents now simply will not put the effort into making the changes needed to become better parents.
You see, when you are given a child, by whatever process you feel most appropriate. Be it from a God, a Goddess, Fate, Luck or Biological process, the end result is a child and a chance. You have a chance to mold another human being into something that could be greater then you or far worse then you could ever be. It is your duty to guide this being down the right path to provide them the tools to grow, succeed and positively impact the lives of those the child will touch.
Or you could do nothing. You could waste your chance. People do that all the time. They spend more time on themselves then their child. They teach the child nothing but a callous disregard for humanity by providing nothing but a callous disregard for the child him/herself. Then, when you realize your mistake, it will be to late to make any changes, even if you care.
All I know is that I will do my part when my wife and I have children. We will do everything in our power to teach our children to care, work hard and to excell. With those tools, we can only hope that our children will succeed and be able to pass on those values to their children and so on to the far future.
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[ Reply ] |
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Pie-in-the-sky notwithstanding, I don't see | by NOLAWitch | 2003-11-03 13:11:54 |
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There are no easy answers... | by nelzie | 2003-11-03 13:26:10 |
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Look, we agree on a lot of points. | by NOLAWitch | 2003-11-03 13:54:27 |
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