| He's been making me think about getting back into it too! Ah, the insidious power of marketing!
I was LOL. Just imagine....
The average Ascension takes about 36 hours, assuming you don't stop for food or sleep. Most NetHackers stay hunched over the keyboard, blinds drawn, phone off the hook, door locked. Occasionally sitting up and groping in the dim light of the screen for a long draught of Potion of Gain Energy. 3 parts beer, 2 parts espresso, 1 part Gatorade. Gone warm and maybe a little rancid.
The descent itself takes about 24 hours even though you wear Boots Of Speed and wield Mjollnir and Grayswandir. You spent 6 hours exploring The Gnomish Mines, just for luck. More hours were spent exploring other dead ends such as a hidden castle, a maze blocked by fallen stones, a hidden castle, Vlad's throne room, perhaps even saving your old tribe. Hours were spent in temples ensuring that you have the blessings of the gods. So 30, maybe 40 hours into The Quest For The Amulet Of Yendor, you stand over the the dead body of the latest evil minion, clutching The Amulet Of Yendor in your sweaty palm. Now for the first time, you truly know fear. Now you know the great Wizard Of Yendor will attack again and again and again and even death will only slightly slow him down.
Although you killed the Wizard Of Yendor's latest avatar on your way down, he is an immortal, sworn to defend The Amulet Of Yendor. Now you will face your greatest enemy! Although you sort of remember arguing with a nurse in town yesterday.
All those hours to get the The Amulet Of Yendor, 5 hours to get back to level one at a dead run, er, undead, er, I mean not getting killed by the evil Wizard Of Yendor and his minions. Then another hour to, uhm, climb the last staircase.
Once you set foot on the last staircase, there is no recovery. Should the game freeze or abort for any reason, you lose.
Two hours later you stand at your final destination. You are about to make the final, winning move, and, and, and.
Darn that pesky Wizard Of Yendor! He's cast a Spell of Blindness on you again. Ooohh, it's a good thing you're a touch typist, you don't need to see the keyboard. You stand in the right place, no need to blunder around in your personal darkness. Your god is waiting, you'll get your sight back along with immortality as soon as you press the right sequence of keys.
<clickClickClick>
<pause>
<click click click>
<pause>
<click> <click> <click>
<pause>
<bash>
<bash>
<bash>
<pause>
Then the voice of despair cries out in the wilderness...
"But, but, but, I pressed the key!"
"Where's the musac? The bright light? Where is my immortality?"
"AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!! NOOOoooooo..."
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