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Back to UserFriendly Strip Comments Index
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Sysadmins are dumb! | by BuggedEyes | 2003-06-06 10:27:59 |
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Ah. Y'see, trolls don't work as well, | by LionsPhil | 2006-11-19 12:55:59 |
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They also work better | by Nea | 2003-06-06 10:33:16 |
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heh.... troll in training... :*D (n/t) | by BuggedEyes | 2003-06-06 10:33:45 |
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Why? | by Nea | 2003-06-06 10:38:25 |
| People are not computers |
by oot |
2003-06-06 17:07:26 |
I used to have a keyboard map that had the left windows key make a "beep" sound. That was intentional. It was nice to have a a button that I could press with the sole intent of making the computer go "beep". I'd often spend more than ten minutes beeping the computer. Press, beep, press, beep, press, beep, press, beep.
It would take my mind off of wondering if the reason there are so many states with female names (Georgia, Virginia, the two Carolinas...) but no states with male names has anything to do with the tradition of referring to ships as "she" and wondering if that had anything to do with the general attitudes of possesiveness towards females in the time when that linguistic quirk probably formed. I suspect did, but it could have resulted from the sailors lacking female companionship and getting bored because the ship doesn't go beep. This may all seem off topic, but it isn't, because trolls live under bridges, and ships are usually too big to go under troll bridges, thus trolls wouldn't have the opportunity to beep the ships even if the ships COULD go beep.
My lava lamp just scared me out of my chair with a sudden eruption the way they do when they're warming up. This also isn't offtopic, because the blobs in lava lamps can sometimes look like goldfish, which swim in water, which is the same substance that the ships that fail to go beep float in when they are on an ocean where there are no troll bridges.
I need to blow my nose. This is also not off topic because the noise of me blowing my nose could frighten a goldfish, which would swim in water, which is the same substance that the ships that fail to go beep float in when they are on an ocean where there are no troll bridges.
America has more televisions than toilets. If a television were placed in a toilet, it could be in the same container that was once used to flush a goldfish that could have been frightened by the sound of someone blowing their nose, and now this is getting out of order but who cares because "I was just following orders" is an eight-syllable phrase, as is "I need to blow my nose ho-onk" which may have been uttered at some time by a sailor on one of the ships that fails to go beep and does so on an ocean instead of under a troll bridge. You may think I left lava lamps out this time, but I didn't, because a sailor blowing his nose will produce boogers, which when suspended in a liquid of proper density at the proper temperature could be used to form a very unusual lava lamp, possibly by aliens, which I wasn't supposed to mention.
The observant reader will note that abolishing trolling can be accomplished in eight simple steps:
1. Contact the aliens.
2. Buy their lava lamps.
3. Give electricity to the ships of the past. (You _DID_ remember to ask the aliens for time machines as well, didn't you?)
4. Provide the sailors with lava lamps and televisions.
5. Enlarge troll bridges so that they go across the ocean.
6. Give the sailors pet goldfish.
7. Give the trolls toilets that go beep whenever a ship that contains boogers, lava lamps, televisions and goldfish are flushed down them.
8. Let nature take its course. (The trolls will be too busy flushing the sailors, ships, lava lamps, boogers, televisions, goldfish and possibly my nose (if I was a sailor in a past life) down the toilet to do anything else. They may do this in a figure eight pattern. Nobody can say why for sure, but it probably represents a repressed urge to flush figure skaters down the toilets as well, or possibly just blow their noses (trolls do have noses, don't they?) on them and the pet goldfish which figure skaters are required by secret alien law to keep in their television sets.) |
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[ Reply ] |
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Washington | by tigermouse | 2003-06-06 17:12:43 |
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That's a last name, could be male or female | by oot | 2003-06-06 17:21:48 |
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Named after a specific male, though | by tigermouse | 2003-06-06 17:25:21 |
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Not named after his wife (did he have a wife?) | by oot | 2003-06-06 17:31:56 |
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WHO STOLE MY QUESTION MARK??? | by oot | 2003-06-06 17:33:56 |
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OK, I won't | by tigermouse | 2003-06-06 17:41:27 |
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I had a dream | by oot | 2003-06-06 17:43:54 |
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I know what you mean. | by tigermouse | 2003-06-06 17:48:39 |
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but I thought it was a warning about Ellen? | by oot | 2003-06-06 17:51:32 |
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Indeed it is. | by tigermouse | 2003-06-06 18:06:35 |
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Shell | by oot | 2003-06-06 18:13:14 |
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Edward Gorey's "The Epileptic Bicycle" (n/t) | by tigermouse | 2003-06-06 18:17:14 |
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but then it would be called Mrs. Washington state | by tigermouse | 2003-06-06 17:37:19 |
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but we don't call it Mr. Washington state now | by oot | 2003-06-06 17:41:22 |
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We don't? | by tigermouse | 2003-06-06 17:45:52 |
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No, we call it ZUUEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS | by oot | 2003-06-06 17:49:34 |
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Hmmm, interesting. | by tigermouse | 2006-11-19 12:55:59 |
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Nope | by oot | 2003-06-06 18:15:04 |
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Wanders off briefly | by oot | 2003-06-06 18:16:05 |
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Back | by oot | 2003-06-06 18:34:27 |
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