the person hearing it can't make the logical connection.
This sounds pretty good to me, if a bit baroque. However, I've already got a solid idea of how CPUs work, and so the metaphor seemed transparent to me (that's a good thing; I don't mean that it was trivial, but that it made a direct connection). Have you gotten any responses back from anyone in your target audience (non-techies) yet, and what did they say?
Oh, I could add that both CISC and RISC are attempts to speed things up in opposite ways, and that RISC is usually see as the faster approach; I'm sure you knew that, but it doesn't come through. You might want to add a bit in that paragraph to the effect of:
"Alternatively, you could do the opposite and break each piece of paperwork into many much simpler forms, so that each form takes very little time to complete. That way, the line of bureaucrats as a whole can effectively get several forms completed between each buzzer ring."
It's your call; the explanation is fairly complex already, so I can understnad that you might not want to add any more to it. |
