The Issue
Last night the respected tabloid TV show "60 Minutes" ran a report on Felidaeris's rising divorce rate. What is happening to the nuclear family?
The Debate
"There's a simple solution," says Pastor Felix, of the Catholic Church. "Divorce should be illegal. 'For better or worse,' anyone remember how that goes? We should return to the good old days, when you got married for life and stuck by your partner no matter how much of a drunken, abusive, adulterating disappointment they turned out to be."
[No way.]
John Black, author of the hit book, 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Some Whole Other Place,' has a simpler solution. "If couples would just call each other 'darling' once in a while, there would be far fewer relationship breakdowns. A little affection is all it takes. So the government should make it mandatory: call your spouse 'darling' at least once a day, or face a fine."
[Nope. This is a free (as in speech) land.]
"There's a simple way to boost the marriage rate," says gay rights activist Dave Licorish. "Abolish those arcane laws that discriminate against same-sex marriages. It's obscene to treat people differently because of their sexual preference. Besides, everyone knows gay relationships are more stable than straight ones."
[I'd like to abolish these arcane laws (goodness knows how they came back...), but that 'more stable' bit is too fanatical]
The Government Position
The government is preparing to dismiss this issue.
I'd be nice if it'd give me an option that *wasn't* so heavily thrown in one party's direction occasionally... |
