I don't give myself credit for things that are accomplishments. I should. I worked really hard to get some scholarships, jobs, etc (particularly recently) and I should give myself more credit for that.
I don't have this confidence in my abilites because of two reasons that both have to do with childhood (hence, why I don't stop doing it, I thnk). First, I was never told I was the smart kid, therefore, I must not be the smart kid, right? So even when my average is 2nd highest in the university History department, I do not consider myself the smart kid. Or even really very close to smart. Second, I was somehow taught that people should be humble and modest and not take pride in their accomplishments. I have abosolutely no idea where this came from, but I guarantee I've been doing it since at least grade 5.
So, I'm trying to take more pride in my accomplishments / quit "faking" self-confidence; therefore, I got accepted to grad studies (with $15,000 university scholarship - highest possible for humanities) and I just got a Hannon Travel Scholarship ($5500) to go to Ukraine for a month or two this summer. I am proud of these accomplishments!!!!
(I think)(if that's ok with people ... see, this is what goes through my head ...)
But hey, as long as I have $20,000 in scholarships to show for it, it's all good! :) |
