go out in broad daylight putting a generous ring of salt around your car. Light some incense. Light a few candles and put them around the car in the directions of the guardians. If you can find a chicken's foot, hang that from your rearview. Call upon the elements to watch over your car and protect it from mischief. Make sure your neighbors see you so they'll spread the word that you did some kind of voodoo on your car.
I think car alarms are useless because nobody pays any attention to them. They're not very threatening anymore. Now, if they could make a car alarm that, instead of the little "whoo-whoo" sound, would say in a deep, masculine voice, "SUCKA! Git yo' monkey paws off my ride befo' I whoop on yo' sorry butt 'til you cry like a l'il bitty girl!" |
