| ...I do so you can have a nice board, so you can feel safe, and to make the whole internet a better place. Don't you come back at me with that playboy business, you know I cancelled my subscription months ago! Do you think it's easy, what I do? Do you? Why don't YOU try it for a few days and see if you can keep it up, while I sit around, watching Oprah and eating bon-bons like Peggy Bundy. I give you two hours before you come back home, crying to work your fingers to the bone some more instead. Yeah, your mother's a saint, alright. A Saint Bernard! Always nagging me, ever since the day you first brought me home, how I wasn't good enough for you, why couldn't you have met that nice priest (who, I might add, has been in the news a lot lately, if you get my drift) instead, slashing my tires, and leaving disturbing messages spraypainted on my cat. That's what you're turning into. I can't blame your father for becoming a Vegas drag queen, if that's what he had to put up with for the six months they were married. |
